Confession: I Am a Martha Who Wishes She Was a Mary

I have a confession to make: I am a Martha.

I don’t just relate to her—I am her. The one who stays busy, who fills every moment with tasks, who measures the day’s success by what got done. The one who serves, who manages, who makes sure everyone else is taken care of before ever thinking about sitting down. I thrive in the doing. But deep down, I long to be a Mary.

The Story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42)

The story is short but powerful. Jesus visits the home of Martha and Mary, two sisters. Mary does something unexpected—she sits at Jesus’ feet, listening intently, like a child sitting at her grandfather’s feet, hanging onto every word of a story. She is fully there, present, soaking in the moment.

And then there’s Martha. She’s busy—probably rushing around the kitchen, making sure the food is prepared, pouring drinks, ensuring every guest has what they need. She is moving, working, serving.

But in her service, she grows frustrated. She looks over at Mary, just sitting there, and she can’t hold it in anymore:

“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” (Luke 10:40)

I feel that frustration deep in my bones. Because I’ve been there. When I’m the one holding everything together, when my hands are full, my mind is racing, and I see someone else resting—my first thought isn’t usually grace. It’s Must be nice.

But Jesus’ response to Martha stops me in my tracks:

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

The Good Portion

Jesus wasn’t scolding Martha for serving. He wasn’t saying, Stop being responsible. Stop taking care of people. But He was telling her—and me—that sometimes, we miss what’s most important.

The work will always be there. The to-do lists will never end. The dishes will pile up again, the emails will keep coming, the laundry will never truly be “caught up.” But moments with Jesus? Opportunities to be fully present? They slip away so easily.

Martha was doing for Jesus. Mary was with Him. And that’s the part that hits me the hardest. Because I, too, get caught up in the doing and forget to just be in His presence.

Why I Struggle to Be a Mary

I wish I could say that after reading this passage, I instantly changed. That I started slowing down, sitting at Jesus’ feet first thing in the morning, refusing to let busyness steal my peace.

But the truth? I’m still a Martha.

I wake up thinking about everything that needs to get done. I tell myself I’ll spend time in the Word after I finish this one thing—except that one thing turns into ten. I feel restless when I’m not productive, like my worth is tied to my output. I struggle to let go, to just sit, to listen.

Because what if I stop moving and everything falls apart?

Choosing the Good Portion

Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen the good portion. And the more I sit with that, the more I realize it’s not about personality types or work ethics—it’s about priorities.

Martha wasn’t wrong for serving. But she was distracted by it.

And I wonder how many moments with Jesus I’ve missed because I was too distracted. How many times He was speaking, but I wasn’t still enough to hear. How many opportunities to sit at His feet have slipped through my fingers because I was too busy checking things off my list.

But here’s the good news: Just like Martha, I am loved in my mess. And just like Mary, I can choose the good portion.

It’s not about abandoning responsibility, but about shifting focus. About realizing that time with Jesus isn’t another task—it’s the very thing that gives meaning to all the other tasks.

So today, I’m reminding myself: The world will keep spinning even if I sit down. The work will still be there. But my time with Jesus? That’s what truly matters.

I may always have a little Martha in me. But I’m learning to be a Mary, too.